Desolate
Hmph
Rainy weather, cheap whiskey, a handful of friends, dance, Mowgli, The Time Traveler’s Wife, decent grades, reconsideration, Paris Tea, sick, Visvim, awkward/comforting friendship, I don’t need you, Bageera, Peanut Butter Trail Mix, Daughter, I’m late, boredom, anacreux.
I remember this one time when I was waiting for the bus to return to the city from my hometown. I became anxious when the bus didn’t appear at the departure time, thinking that I’ve missed it. I stood there at the stop, waiting, hoping to see it pass around the corner to me. I soon realized that this was similar to how I’ve felt all these years. Making decisions that had altered my life course that I had planned. I felt as though there were no returns and only regrets. The mistakes I’ve made had become irrevocable, and made me to believe that I could never achieve my dreams, and I have been trapped in these walls. I refused to believe, and relied on my patience and virtue. Of course, there have been times of doubt, the harsh wind of reality coercing my endurance to succumb to limitations. But I refused to cease my attempts. I’ve continued to work diligently, no matter if I knew how they would have resulted. Years later, I made a crack in the hole. The years of trial had managed to finally make progress, no matter how minute it is. Although the exit is small as a mice, it’s enough to see it with my eye, to insert a mere finger. I’ve made a decision that this is a window that I have created, and it will one day develop into a door, a path to my dream. In the end, I caught the bus and was guided back to the city where I belong. I will always remember that day, because I understand now that if I have hope, I can succeed. And so, I scrape this wall every day, hoping that I can crawl through it when I am ready to cross into the other side.
